Toddlers Without Tiaras

… tales of my threenager

Swiper Sightings July 2014

As promised, here are the July 2014 Swiping Sightings!  For the back story visit Calling My Bluff … Introduction of Swiper the Fox


Swiper the Fox Image source:

July 1st:
8:00 p.m.
Mom: “Go to bed or we will call Swiper.”
Result: Success!  Off to bed by herself.

July 2nd:
8:30 p.m.
Looking out Big Sis’ window.
Mom: “Dad, What colour is Swiper’s car?”
Dad: “Silver”
Mom: “I see him.  He is parked across the street.”
Result: Big Sis pulls covers over her head (international sign, or at least international sign in our house, that she is going to bed and plans to stay there.)

July 3rd:
8:17 p.m.
Looking out Big Sis’ window.
Mom: “Oh, I see him! He is at the mailbox.”
Result: Covers pulled up over her head!

11:54 p.m.
Unusual events.  There was a second sighting.
Big Sis got out of bed.  Climbed in with mom.  Wouldn’t go back to sleep.  We called Uncle Jeff (in Vancouver).  Swiper was spotted outside his apartment.  (Thankfully Big Sis doesn’t understand Canadian Geography.)
Result: Dove under mom’s covers.  Asleep in 5 minutes.

July 4th:
7:38 p.m.
Mom: “I’m calling Swiper.”  [NOOOO! Swiper isn’t answering! Time for Plan B: Fake a conversation with Swiper.”
Result: Big Sis makes her way to her bedroom.  [Phew.  That was a close call.]

July 5th: 
No sightings.  Did ask Big Sis if we needed to call Swiper.  She said no and took herself to bed.

8:00 p.m.
Mom: “I see him across the street.  He is visiting the house with the kids.  He is then going to go to two other houses before coming here.”
Big Sis: pulls up covers and goes to bed.

11:00 p.m.
I return from grocery shopping [yes, at 11:00 p.m. on a Sunday night], Big Sis is sitting on the porch with dad.  She woke up while I was out and dad said she could stay up until I got home.  She comes to the car to greet me.  I ask her who is on the phone.  She freezes in her tracks, squeezes her dad’s hand, and starts looking up and down the street.  I felt a little bad.  Her Nana was on the phone.  She thought I was talking to Swiper.  Oops.  At least she went back to bed.

July 7th:
7:30 p.m.
Big Sis is refusing to go to bed.  I tell her I am going to count to three and if she isn’t up to bed by then I will have to call Swiper.  She turns on the fake tears, between giggles.  She still refuses to go.  I pick up the phone.  She runs to bed.

July  8th:
9:00 p.m.
Tried bribing Big Sis to go to bed, reminding her that Nana would visit the next day.

July 9th:
6:30 p.m.
Early bedtime.  Thank you Nana for spending the afternoon at the park; ensuring Big Sis would be exhausted and go to bed early.  No Swiper sightings.

July 10th: (And I thought tonight would be easy …)
8:26 p.m.
Dad hears footsteps (indicating Big Sis is out of bed.)
Dad: “Oh, hey, Swiper”
Dad: “Yeah, I think she is getting out of bed.”
Dad: “O.K.  I will tell her.  So you will be here in 5 minutes.”
Dad: “O.K. Thanks.  See you then.”

8:29 p.m.
Sitting beside mom. I tell her that Swiper is going to come.  Big Sis nods her head in compliance.  This time, with a smile on her face, she informs me she is going to hide from Swiper.  She then pulls my covers over her head.  [Why do I sense we may be calling Swiper a few times this evening.]

8:34 p.m.
Big Sis starts walking down the stairs.  Dad cuts her off before she reaches the first floor.
Dad: “Hi Swiper, it is so nice of you to come over for coffee.  I’ll be right back.  I’m just going to tuck Charlotte back in to bed.”

11:09 p.m.
In an effort to take the attention off of Big Sis, Dad focuses the Swiper conversation to the baby.
Dad: “You got to meet Swiper tonight when he came over for coffee.  He tried to take your soother, but we said ‘Swiper, no swiping.'” (Big Sis wimpers)
Dad: “We should all go to bed, or he may come back and take your dollies.”
Dad: “Threenager, would you please go to bed.  Swiper is on his way home, and we don’t want to have to call him back.”
Mom: “Do you want us to call Swiper?”
C: “No!”
Dad: “Do you want us to text Swiper?”
C: “No!”
Dad: “You need to go to bed.”
C: “No! No! No!”

11:58 p.m.
After gently leading her back to bed another 3 times mom had to go and unlock the front door for Swiper.  Big Sis was not impressed.

July 11th * Changed my brother’s picture on my cell phone to be Swiper the Fox.  I’m now ready for the next call.
9:00 p.m.
After lots of giggles, finally got her to bed.  She got out of bed once.  I offered to call Swiper.  She went back to bed.

July 12th
8:30 p.m.
Sleepover time with her cousin.  Big Sis didn’t want to go to sleep. I asked if I needed to call Swiper.  Big Sis said no.  Older cousin said Swiper wasn’t real (NOOOO!!!).  I said he was (and winked to the older cousin).  She said “Oh, yes, Swiper.  He is real.”  … Phew, close call.

July 13th
Spent the afternoon swimming and planning at my aunt’s house.  Bedtime was no problem.  She was exhausted and fell asleep without any fighting. (Although I did have to call Swiper before the afternoon nap).

July 14th
2:00 p.m.
Foiled. Big Sis fell asleep in the car for 2 minutes and now refuses to have her afternoon nap.  Even Swiper sightings are not working.  I will settle for quiet playing in her bedroom.

7:38 p.m.
Asked Threenager if I needed to call Swiper.  She insisted I did not.

July 15th
11:00 a.m.
Told Threenager I would call Swiper.  Showed her the phone with Swiper’s picture.  Told her I would call if she wasn’t in bed by the count of 3.

8:30 p.m.
Swiper spotted in the hallway of Great Nana’s building in the GTA.

July 16th
12:15 p.m.
Swiper in the halls of Kidsability when C wasn’t cooperating.  She didn’t buy it.

July 17th
No Swiper sightings.

July 18th
8:12 p.m.
Swiper is in the neighbourhood doing rounds.

July 19th
2:07 p.m.
Asked C if she wanted me to go and get Swiper from neighbours house. She enthusiastically said yes.  (Point added to Bluff Board)  She had the look of someone who knows I’m bluffing, but doesn’t know if she wants to call my bluff and tell me Swiper isn’t real.

July 20th
2:32 p.m.
Called Swiper when C would not go for nap. Asked C if she wanted to talk to Swiper. She said no and went to bed.

9:17 p.m.
After getting out of bed 3 times we phoned Swiper. Asked C if she wanted to talk to Swiper or if she wanted Swiper to come over for coffee.

9:35 p.m.
She is out of bed again.  May need to follow her Aunt’s suggestion and buy a fox costume (won’t actually do this, but right at this moment when my Threenager is smiling at me in a … I’m winning way … I’m tempted.



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