Toddlers Without Tiaras

… tales of my threenager

Chew Toys Don’t Blink

Last week, after returning from a trip up North, the girls and I were in the kitchen enjoying a leisurely breakfast. Their father was in his office on a conference call.

The Furry Beasts missed us when we were away, being extreme cuddly and quiet on our return. This only further contributed to my confusion when the two dogs started growling and fighting over a chew toy. Annoyed, I stood up and walked over to the door. Just as I was about to tell the dogs to “knock it off!”, the chew toy blinked. Startled, I froze, and looked again.


I repeat: EYES AND FUR!!!

Being a responsible, caring, and protective parent – I screamed (in a panicked, hyperventilating, operatic tone) and ran out of the room. I spent the next 3 minutes, unsuccessfully, trying to go back in to the kitchen for my children.
I did not know what I had seen, but I knew it was furry and was blinking.

Squirrel? Mouse? Meerkat? – I didn’t know – I just knew we had a problem.

Disturbed by the distressed chaos outside his office door, Dad came out to investigate. The conversation went like this:

Dad: “What is going on?” (In an irritated, why are you making that noise manner.)
Mom: “Ah Ah Ah” [point] Ew Ah [whimper]

Clearly this bunny did not read Peter Rabbit

Clearly this bunny did not read Peter Rabbit

Dad walks into the room, and to my delight squeals in a high pitched voice “EEEEEEE”.

Clearly more composed than I, he suggests I removed at least Big Sis from the room. (Lil’ Sis was in her high chair, and amused by the excitement.)

Reluctantly I returned to the kitchen and brought Big Sis to the living room where I mustered up the energy to sit on the couch (instead of stand, which was my natural reaction).

I like to imagine myself a composed and fearless person. Once, attending a conference when a mouse entered the room, everyone scattered, while I, the fearless one, grabbed a cup and tried to catch the mouse. Outside of my home, I will come to your rescue. Inside my home – you are on your own! (Or at my sister-in-law’s as she periodically likes to remind me of the Alligator Lizard incident of 2013).

In the end we all survived. The Furry Beasts had caught a Bunny. A very thoughtful and disturbing ‘Welcome Home!’ gift. We reassured Big Sis we had released the Bunny in the front yard where the dogs would not scare it anymore; under our breaths adding the end note “to spend time with its ancestors.”


Wed, May 27 2015 » Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: